OK, I couldn't resist. For those of you looking for your French ancestors
(like me), perhaps you will find this amusing - CAUTION - it has nothing to do
with genealogy - but it is humerous and sent to me by a friend who is a FRENCH
citizen and living in Paris... She is half German half French like me - so
thus the last line was truely a kick!!!
R/S MAK
FRANCE: Guide for American Tourists
France is a medium-sized foreign country situated in the continent of
Europe. It is an important member of the world community, though not nearly
as important as it thinks. It is bounded by Germany, Spain, Switzerland and
some smaller nations of no particular importance and with not very good
shopping. France is a very old country with many treasures, such as the
Louvre and Eurodisney. Among its contributions to western civilization are
champagne, Camembert cheese and the guillotine. Although France likes to
think of itself as a modern nation, air conditioning is little used and it
is next to impossible for Americans to get decent Mexican food. One
continuing exasperation for American visitors is that local people insist
on speaking in French, though many will speak English if shouted at.
THE PEOPLE
France has a population of 57 million people. 52 million of these drink and
smoke (the other 5 million are small children). All French people drive like
lunatics, are dangerously oversexed, and have no concept of standing
patiently on line. The French people are in general gloomy, temperamental,
proud, arrogant, aloof and disciplined; those are their good points.
Most French citizens are Roman Catholic, though you would hardly guess it
from their behavior. Many people are communists. Men sometimes have
girls'names like Marie or Michel, and they kiss each other when they meet.
American travelers are advised to travel in groups and wear baseball caps
and colorful trousers for easier recognition.
SAFETY
In general, France is a safe destination, although travelers must be aware
that from time to time it is invaded by Germany. Traditionally,the French
surrender immediately and, apart from a temporary shortage of Scotch whisky
and increased difficulty in getting baseball scores and stock market prices,
life for the American visitor generally goes on much as before. A tunnel
connecting France to Britain beneath the English channel has been opened in
recent years to make it easier for the French government to flee to London
during future German invasions.
HISTORY
France was discovered by Charlemagne in the Dark Ages. Other important
historical figures are Louis XIV, the Huguenots, Joan of Arc, Jacques
Cousteau and Charles de Gaulle, who was President for many years and is now
an airport.
GOVERNMENT
The French form of government is democratic but noisy. Elections are held
more or less continuously and always result in a draw. The French love
administration so for government purposes the country is divided into
regions, departments, districts, municipalities, towns, communes,villages,
cafes, and telephone kiosks. Each of these has its own government and
elections. Parliament consists of two chambers, the Upper and Lower, though
confusingly they are both on the ground floor, and whose members are either
Gaullists or Communists, neither of whom should be trusted by the traveler.
Parliament's principal occupation is setting off atomic bombs in the south
Pacific and acting indignant and surprised when other countries complain.
According to the most current American state department intelligence, the
President is now someone named Jacques. Further information is not available
at this time.
CULTURE
The French pride themselves on their culture, though it is not easy to see
why. All their music sounds the same and they have never made a movie that
you would want to watch for anything but the nude scenes.
CUISINE
Let's face it, no matter how much garlic you put on it, a snail is just a
slug with a shell on its back. Croissants on the other hand, are excellent,
although it is impossible for most Americans to pronounce this word. In
general, travelers are advised to stick to cheeseburgers.
ECONOMY
France has a large and diversified economy, second only to Germany's in
Europe, which is surprising because the French hardly work at all. If they
are not spending four hours dawdling over lunch, they are on strike and
blocking the roads with their trucks and tractors. France's principal
exports, in order of importance to the economy, are wine, nuclear weapons,
perfume, guided missiles, champagne, guns, grenade launchers, land mines,
tanks, attack aircraft, miscellaneous armaments and cheese.
PUBLIC HOLIDAYS
France has more holidays than any other nation in the world. Among its 361
national holidays are: 197 Saints' days, 37 National Liberation Days, 16
Declaration of Republic Days, 54 Return of Charles de Gaulle in triumph as
if he won the war single-handed Days, 18 Napoleon sent into Exile Days, 17
Napoleon Called Back from Exile Days, and 2 "France is Great and the Rest
of the World Sucks" Days.
CONCLUSION
At least it's not Germany.
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MAK = "Mar sea ah Ann Keel"
WI ACS
http://www.rootsweb.com/~wigenweb/
MAKs Sites
http://www.rootsweb.com/~wiwood/links/MAK.html
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