Wayne,
First of all thanks for your input for those of us who are not students of
English.
My comments below *[and in red and bold if it will show]*.
On Sun, Sep 3, 2017 at 9:12 PM, W Saewyc <wayne(a)saewyc.ca> wrote:
<snip>
However, I am a bit OCD about English, so I have a few nits to pick.
I.
Paragraph 1, sentence 1, the comma preceding The USGenWeb Project
should not be there. (Sentence 3 is rather complex, but correct, yet
might be improved by simplifying.) In the fourth, final, sentence,
the final word 'Project' is capitalized incorrectly.
*[1. comma removed. *
*3. Modify to read - These guidelines are described here:
**http://usgenweb.org/volunteers/scccguidelines.html
<
http://usgenweb.org/volunteers/scccguidelines.html>*
*4.. - ....before agreeing to participate in (change "any MNGenWeb Project"
to read: The MNGenWeb Project) .]*
III.
The quoting characters used around The MNGenWeb Project are
non-standard; they are so-called smart quotes used by Microsoft
products. (This is a point of style, not an actual grammatical issue.)
*[ quotes removed ]*
V.
The same issue regarding quoting characters around Unincorporated
Non-Profit Association.
*[ quotes removed ]*
VII.a.
The comma following "he or she" is unnecessary. (The stop being left
outside the parenthesis when previous punctuation were wonderfully
within the bounding characters was disappointing.)
*[comma removed; don't understand the last part unless it was just a
comment?]*
b.
ASC's assist with administrative matters, in sentence 4, not state
matters, which are the prerogative of heads of state.
*[changed state to administrative] wonder if flow of the paragraph would
be better enhanced if sentences 2 and 3 were swapped?* Frankly experience
has been the ASC serves by assisting the SC either by division of duties or
as asked by the SC to do various tasks.*]*
VIII
In the fifth sentence of the first paragraph, 'voting' should not be
capitalized.
*[changed to lower case v.]*
The second paragraph could usefully be recast, but more importantly
should be ended with a stop. (As both CC and ACC have been
previously defined, I would suggest a construction such as "Each CC
and ASC may cast only one vote.") A space should follow the stop at
the end of sentence two.
*[I see a period at the end of the 2nd paragraph - that paragraph starting
with - Each County or Assistant County Coordinator. There is only one
sentence in paragraph 2 so I wonder if you meant paragraph 3?]*
The second sentence of the third paragraph is redundant; everything
in it has already been stated.
*[since there seems to be confusion as to which paragraph is which in this
section, this needs revisiting.]*
*[That said - I found one error that I'd not seen before that is in both
versions - in the next to last paragraph where it talks about determining
the winner of a runoff - changed the spelling of the last word from - caste
to read cast.]*
*[In the last paragraph of the SC version modified text: In the event of
tie in the the runoff vote to read: In the event of tie in the runoff
vote...]*
X
Microsoft again intrudes smart quote characters in paragraph three,
surrounding the term inactive status. (Side comment: many but not
all the single quote characters are likewise non-standard.)
*[removed quote marks but would ask how does one accent terms to bring
attention to them? Should they be put in bold format to highlight
particular words or phrases that have special meaning for an organization?]*
XII
In paragraph one, the third sentence, the coordinator is a 'who',
not a 'that'; "A coordinator [who] cannot be contacted…" The
fourth
sentence was probably part of an edit which was never quite
completed. It currently reads:
/The following are types of behavior that are considered days
either by e-mail, phone or letter will be replaced./
As the next sentence completes the thought correctly, it should be
removed.
*[changed that to read who. Removed: days*
* either by e-mail, phone or letter will be replaced. The following are
types of behavior that are considered.*
*The revised part now reads as - A coordinator who cannot be*
* contacted for a period of 30 days either by e-mail, phone or letter will
be replaced. The following are types of behavior that are considered
inappropriate for this project:]*
Tim Stowell