This makes for some interesting reading! It's from the 1923 Columbia City High
School Annual. I've put the surnames in caps so you can scroll it if you don't
care to read it. But it is interesting to read this and will give you a few laughs!
Angela....
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Last Will and Testament
We, the Senior Class of the year of our Lord One Thousand Nine Hundred and
Twenty-Three, being (as we think) of sound mind and perfect health (having enough of the
last mentioned article to last us the rest of our lives), but nevertheless, looking
forward to that time when we shall shuffle off this mortal coil to seek the undiscovered
country from whose borne no traveler returns, do hereby declare this to be our Last Will
and Testament, revoking all other wills, codicils, and sections of wills which may have
been made heretofore. Attested, this twenty-third day of April, by Glenn P. GALLOWAY and
John BARTON.
SECTION I
Item 1. We do bequeath unto that portion of our high school remaining after our
graduation, enough of our superfluous brilliancy to make the ace of spades look like the
Aurora Borealis, or approximately ten light years.
Item 2. To the verdant Freshman class, we leave a blue print of the upper halls of
the high school building, so that in their innocent wanderings they may not stray into the
girls' rest room instead of the office.
Item 3. Unto the sophisticated Sophomores we leave our rare and valuable collection
of interlinear translations of Caesar's commentaries (otherwise known as ponies,) to
be used with discretion and handled with care, and in addition to this, a book on
"Giggles, their Prevention and Cure."
Item 4. To the light minded Juniors we leave one Encyclopedia of Senior Etiquette, or
"How to Behave Properly under Any Circumstances," in six volumes, bound in
chicken skin, and written by John Thomas EYANSON, whose excellent conduct grade qualifies
him to write on the subject.
SECTION II
Item 1. To Walter William WEICK, otherwise known as Bud the Peeper, and also to his
ardent companion, William E. MEYERS, we leave one half-dozen packages of "Monkey
Grip," with which to patch some of their notorious "big tears."
Item 2. To Duke WATERFALL we leave the following recipe for Rudolf Vaselino hair
dressing: To two drops of rain water add 1 1/4 lbs. of tallow, 3 oz. of beeswax and a box
of shinola: shake well before using and apply locally before or after meals.
Item 3. To Glenn SHOOK we leave two plugs of J. T. and a round trip ticket to La
Otto.
Item 4. The conduct grades of Helen BRENNEMAN we do leave as an heritage unto Paul
ALLEN.
Item 5. Unto Cleon FOUST we leave a bevy of Freshman lassies as a special gift to
insure his future happiness, and we do provide that henceforth he shall be known as, not
simply as "Billy," but as "Sweet William."
Item 6. To Elizabeth MOSSMAN we leave a swivel chair in front of the assembly room
desk, so that when she wishes to speak to Mr. GALLOWAY she will not need to run around all
over the room.
Item 7. To our old friend and companion, Kenny ROBERTS, we leave as many years as may
be necessary to complete his high school education, and we do provide that on no account
shall his instructors fail him in more than four subjects.
Item 8. Unto James K. NORTHAM we bequeath Harvey CARTER's vast vocabulary, with
full instructions for using it.
Item 9. Unto "Bus" KENNER we leave a good supply of neckties to be worn
only upon special occasions.
Item 10. To Louie, otherwise known as "Two Gun," WESTON we do bequeath a
brace of six shooters guaranteed to shoot seven times without reloading, and a one-way
ticket to "God's Country," where men are men and axes are axes and money
wrenches are monkey wrenches.
Item 11. We leave unto Robert WARD a spike nail and a piece of cheese, so that he
will have something to wonder about.
Item 12. To Miss Louise ERDMANN we leave the latest edition of "How to be Happy
though Married," written by Roy PRICE and Mary CARTER.
Item 13. To Mr. FISHER we leave a new set of springs for his Dodge car.
Item 14. To Harry REID we leave a Dusenberg Special, so that his conception of speed
may become a realization; also to him we bequeath a quart of raisin jack and enough gas to
take him to Huntington.
Item 15. To Clement EVARD, we are glad to will a pair of loaded bones and 30c worth
of pennies so that he may set up in business.
Item 16. To Hob GELVIN we leave James KALER's ability to sing in French, and we
do admonish him if he cannot get the notes right, by all means to sing the rests.
Item 17. To Mary JOHNSTON, in addition to three fraternity rings from Harvard, Yale
and Long Cliff, we leave a third interest in the BAILEY and VANDERFORD Vamping Company,
and Virginia CLARK's ability to catch and keep hot things such as BURN-WORTHS.
Item 18. To Phil WIGENT, we bequeath August KELLEY's latest book on
"Tailoring," two bottles of "Duke" WATERFALL's "Stay
Put" hair grease, and a life job as a hash slinger at PRICE's Restaurant.
SECTION III
Item 1. We do hereby appoint and name Richard KISSINGER and James NORTHAM as
Executors of this our Last Will and Testament.
Item 2. We do provide that within three days of our demise, our obituary shall be
duly published in the "Churubusco Truth" and in the "Exhaust Pipe,"
and that our body shall interred with fitting ceremonies, and that a stone shall be placed
above our last resting place bearing an inscription suitable to the occasion.
Item 3. In witness whereof we hereunto set our hands and seal this 23rd day of April.
in the year of Our Lord, one thousand nine hundred and twenty-three.
Class of 1923, C. C. H. S.
We have duly subscribed our names hereunto as witnesses:
Signed: Glenn P. GALLOWAY
John BARTON