David T. Moellendorf <dtnommoe(a)execpc.com> (not a member of the INPCRP
group) posted the following to the CEMETERY list on Rootsweb. Thought it
contained some suggestions that might be useful to members of the INPCRP
group.
Lois
- ------------------------------------------
Date: Wednesday, May 26, 1999 4:53 PM
Subject: [CEMETERY-L] Access to Land Locked Cemeteries
Cemetery Friends.....
ACCESS TO LANDLOCKED CEMETERIES
The biggest problem in getting access to private lands is a throw-off of the
times in which we live. Not too many landowners will openly admit to it, but
most are terrified of the prospect of being sued as a result of their
generosity.
Consider this: when you must climb over a fence to gain access, you are
trespassing. You are also trespassing (by legal definition) if you merely
walk onto the land of someone else, even if you do not need to climb a fence
in order to do so. Therefore, since you would be breaking the law in doing
so, whatever befalls you is your own fault and the landowner cannot be held
responsible for what happens to you as a result of your criminal activity.
The landowner is usually safe on all accounts.
HOWEVER, the minute that the landowner gives you permission to enter his or
her land, he has now taken on some responsibility for your safety and
welfare. As a result, most landowners would rather err on the side of
caution and refuse entry to you. So how do you get around this?
In advance, write up an agreement which states that the landowner knows and
approves of your presence on his land, that the landowner has warned you
that there are both known and unknown hazards on his land, and that you
agree to hold him safe and harmless from any action which arises out of your
injury or death, or damage to your property, while you are on his property.
Also, be prepared with identical documents for each of those who will
accompany you.
Further, this agreement must also give the landowner the absolute right,
without recourse, to rescind his permission to you for any reason
whatsoever, or even no reason. In fact, when you write this up ahead of
time, you should clearly state ALL of the rights and privileges you are
giving to the land owner. Include items like which hours of which days you
intend to be there and for what purpose, and that you will attempt to
contact the landowner in advance of your arrival and keep him apprised of
your comings and goings. Then make sure that you do this until he gets to
know you and final tells you that you don't need to contact him every time
you stop over. But it must be his decision.
The point of this is that you are trying to remove every possible objection
the land owner might have even BEFORE he has a chance to think of it. You
are also trying to give the landowner a document which is legal and which
gives him total control of the situation and protection from a law suit if
you fall into a collapsing grave and die. Without this, it could be argued
that he should not have permitted you to go in an area of questionable
condition, and that he is therefore partly responsible for what happens to
you.
Most private individual have no idea as to what extent they can be held
liable -- so it is easier to just say no. By preparing such a document, you
will take away the fear and 99 percent of the usual reasons for denying you
access. Your document should also state that you agree to be fully
responsible for any damage done to the property by you. Further, your
agreement should state that you agree to be responsible for the actions and
behavior of anyone who you bring with you, as well as their safety.
When you do gain entry:
Leave the place noticeable better than how you found it;
Send him or her a thank you note;
If one of his neighbors should come to see what you are up to, make sure
that you repeatedly praise the decision of the land owner and his
generosity and faith in trusting complete strangers. These words
will find their way back to him and it will make a difference.
The idea is to "defuse" the situation before it ever has a chance to become
one. Once you've made a couple of trips to the private land, it would be in
order for you to show up with some small hospitality gift for the landowner
for his kindness. Don't make it so big that he is awkward in accepting it.
Usually a small store-wrapped basket of cheese and fruit is most
appropriate, and it can be given to either a man or woman. Most men have
trouble accepting gifts. If the man is married, bring the gift for his wife.
If he has children, a gift can be brought for them provided it is first
given to the father for HIM to give to his kids. Token gifts are usually
presented to the wife first, next gift goes to the kids, the following or
next gift goes to the man. This is a matter of social protocol, but it is
much the same in most cultures.
Those in the antebellem Old South had these social skills honed to
perfection. There is much that can be learned from these courtesies. They
used to be taught to all "proper" young men and ladies. It used to be proper
and fitting that if one took up the time of a sales clerk, it was expected
that one should make a purchase, even of something small and unwanted, in
exchange for the valuable time of the sales clerk. Much can be learned from
doing historical research of prior cultures. The rules that worked back then
for getting cooperation from others still work today. It is unfortunate
that they have been mostly forgotten. But now that I think of it, I see
more of this old-fashioned respect and courtesy demonstrated across the Net
and Web than I see it in *non-virtual reality. Maybe we've come full circle
once again.
My main message in all this is for you to think about and anticipate every
possible reason someone might have for denying you access, then come with
whatever documents you need to give them in order for them to feel secure
and comfortable. It is the human condition that most people want to be
helpful to others if they can. Mostly, they will not be helpful to others
when it puts themselves at risk. So take away all the reasons why they might
feel at risk in giving you permission, and you will have access to 99
percent of the places to which you seek access.
The worst you could do would be to knock on a farmer's front door and ask,
"Is that your cemetery out by those cows?" The impression you make, and the
lasting image the farmer will have is of the first 10 seconds he spends with
you. Ninety percent of his mind will me made up in those first ten seconds.
Ask the question like that and he will probably say, "Why -- did they get
into trouble- why do you want to know -- who are you anyhow -- are you with
the FDA?" It will be hard to overcome his initial suspicion. Even if you
know that it is he who owns the cemetery land, it would be better to
introduce yourself, talk about your interest and only then ask him if he
knows who owns the cemetery. Let him offer the information of his own
willingness to help.
How you ask is more important than what you ask. Most people love to do
favors for others. A true favor is a gift that only they can give you
knowing that you have no way of repaying it. Preface your request with, "Mr.
Jones, it would be a great personal favor to my family and I if you would
allow us to ..........." You will rarely get turned down. If they simply
say OK, give them the signed agreement anyhow. They will be impressed by
your willingness to protect their interests, and it will be less likely that
a fearful family member talks them into saying "no" the next time you show
up. Or worse -- a fearful family attorney could recommend that they tell you
"no".
For a closing thought, if you gain permission, ask them if they have any
relatives buried there and where, and what names they go under. Before you
leave, take pictures of each of their headstones (if possible). Have extra
prints made, and give them to the landowner as a keepsake for his
graciousness.
Whatever you do, when first meeting, don't knock on someone's door with a
camera slung around your neck. Keep the camera in the car until you are at
the cemetery, and keep it in a purse or paper bag until you wish to take
your pictures. I am not recommending any clandestine activity --- I am
suggesting that you do not even want to give the *appearance* of clandestine
activities or look like you are gathering evidence.
Never show up with more people than the time before without first clearing
it with the land owner. Give him signed waivers for injury, etc., for
whoever else you bring. And don't even think of mentioning the possibility
of an organized cleanup until you've been there a number of times and the
owner and his family gets to know you.
If anyone has any questions about dealing with specific situations, please
feel free to write and I'll try to answer with something helpful. When
trying to gain access from whoever owns the land, be prepared in advance to
give whatever assurance is necessary that the land owner cannot be held
responsible even if you and the whole darn cemetery drop into a 500 foot
sinkhole.
Before doing anything in a neglected, abandoned or private cemetery -- even
before tracking down the land owner, go the to local police AND sheriff's
offices, introduce yourself and your objectives, and leave identification.
This goes a long way in disarming a situation ahead of time. If locals call
the sheriff's office regarding suspicious activity in the cemetery, the
sheriff will already know who you are and what you are doing, and the
sheriff or police won't have to waste manpower driving out to follow up on a
citizen report or complaint.
If this has been of any help to anyone, let me know.
Thanks for your attention --
David T. Moellendorf <dtnommoe(a)execpc.com>