ACTUAL EPITAPHS FROM GRAVESTONES
On the grave of Ezekiel Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies
Ezekiel Aikle
Age 102
The Good
Die Young.
___________________________________________________________
In a London, England cemetery:
Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767
____________________________________________________________
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
____________________________________________________________
Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.
____________________________________________________________
A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
____________________________________________________________
Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.
____________________________________________________________
Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in
the
cowboy days of the 1880s. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in
Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a . 44
No Les No More.
____________________________________________________________
In a Georgia cemetery:
'I told you I was sick!'
____________________________________________________________
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.
____________________________________________________________
More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.
____________________________________________________________
Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood,
One Wood within another.
The outer wood is very good:
We cannot praise the other.
____________________________________________________________
On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.
____________________________________________________________
The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer
tip:
Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with 'R.E. Danforth's
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid
____________________________________________________________
Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down.
It was.
____________________________________________________________
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
____________________________________________________________
In a cemetery in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, so shall you be,
Remember this and follow me.
_____
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I'll not consent,
Until I know which way you went.