"I bend before this passion; a plague on the parish girls!
Since, o force of my longing, I have never had one of them!
Not one sweet and hoped-for maiden,
Not one young girl, or hag, nor wife,
What recoil, what malicious thoughts,
What omission makes them not want me?
What harm is it to a thick-browed girl to have me in the dark, dense wood?
It would not be shameful for her
To see me in a den of leaves."
You're obviously a guy who doesn't mind having his face slapped, hey Paul? ;-)
It would be great for a stag night, though...