From: dalecarter11(a)comcast.net
To: ;
Subject: Fw: Divorce Agreement (for the country!) please READ IT IS not WHAT YOU THINK!
Date: Mon, 9 Nov 2009 14:42:32 -0600
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A
STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama
supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election
process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many
years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its
course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so
let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable
differences and go our own way..
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That
will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement.
After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly
divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the
liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the
cops, the NRA and the military.
You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible
for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,Wal-Mart and
Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens.
We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep
the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood ..
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and
hammer places that threaten us.. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our
allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology,
Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying
the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars.. You can take every
Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll
continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn
of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute
Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya orWe Are the World.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best
shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and
conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly
parting, I'll bet you Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, &
Jane Fonda with you.
P. P. S. And we won't have to press 1 for English.
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