My sister in law Jan sent this to us and I laughed so hard I couldn't see.
Key' and other stories form the computer tech support front line'
Almost every computer user has had problems with computer equipment,
peripherals and "computereze," - that frustrating terminology that entraps the
computer user; especially the new user. Following are some excerpts of calls
to three computer companies from what can only be unfamiliar computer users.
One company is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to
"Press
Return Key" bedause of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
A technical support department had a caller complaining that her mouse was
hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the
plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
Another customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A
few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of
the floppies.
Another technician received a call from a man complaining that the system
wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble
shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found
that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter
to type the label.
A technician advised his customer to put this troubled floppy back in the
drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was
heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the
door to his room.
Another customer called to say he couldn't get his computer too fax
anything. After 40 minutes of trouble shooting, the technician discovered the
man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor
screen and hitting the "send" key.
Another customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech
suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends,"
the customer replied. When told Egghead was a software stsore, the man said,
"Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."
Yet another customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked.
He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the
keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
A technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his
computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid." the tech expalined that
the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't
be taken
personnally.
An exasperated caller to Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new
computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the
technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her
response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The
"foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.
Another customer called tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't
work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20
minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she
pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch."
Hope you enjoyed and my typing wasn't too bad. I'm having computer problems
and can't use my scanner (among other things). Now that I've read this it
will probably be a bit longer before I call. It's not the scanner that's the
problem. I think I deleted something I shouldn't have. When I tried to
reinstall Windows I found out that the program on the disk is not the program
on the label. Unfortunately I didn't find that out till I'd run set up again.
Now I'm in real trouble.
Carolyn