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To: Funtsie(a)aol.com, Momwing(a)aol.com, SNUFFMUFFIN(a)worldnet.att.com
Subject: New Disease Found
Date: Wed, 24 Feb 1999 18:59:57 EST
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Doctors have discovered a new disease that is very contagious to adults.
They have named it Genealogy Pox.
SYMPTOMS: Patient continually complains of a need for names, dates, and
places. Patient has a blank expression on his face, and often seems deaf to
mate and children. Has no taste for work of any kind, except for feverishly
looking through records, libraries, and courthouse. Has Compulsion to write
letters and spends hours sitting at a computer. Swears at mailman when he
doesn't leave mail or threatens to kick computer if there is no e-mail.
Frequents strange places such as cemeteries, ruins and remote desolate
country areas. Makes secret night calls and hides the phone bills from mate.
Patient mumbles to self and has a strange faraway look in his eyes. Has a
strange compulsion to gather and scatter old papers all over the house,
leaving piles of paper everywhere with strange numbers and names all over
them.
TREATMENT: No known cure. Medication is useless. Disease is not fatal, but
gets progressively worse. Disease is spreading throughout the country very
fast, quickly becoming an epidemic. Patient should attend genealogy
meetings, workshops, subscribe to genealogical magazines, and be given lots
more forms and a computer situated in a quiet corner of the house where he
or she can be alone. If family supports patient through this, patient will
occasionally come out of strange trance and will act normal again unless you
drive by a cemetery or courthouse.
REMARKS: The unusual nature of this disease is such that the more sick the
patient becomes, the more he or she seems to enjoy it sometimes dancing with
glee and yelling, "I found it!"