KIDS IN CHURCH
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and
on. Finally she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if
we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
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A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. " How do you
know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do
you keep crossing things out?
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A father took his 5 year old son to several baseball games where "The
Star Spangled Banner" was sung before the start of each game. Then
the father and son attended church the day before "Independence Day."
The congregation sang "The Star Spangled Banner", and after everyone
sat down, the boy suddenly yelled out, "PLAY BALL".
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A six year old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church
service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who
passed trash against us."
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After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly
announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister
when I grow up." "That's okay with us but what made you decide that?'
"Well', said the little boy, " I have to go to church on Sunday
anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than
to sit and listen."
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A Sunday School teacher challenged her children to take some time on
Sunday afternoon to write a letter to God. They were to bring their
letter back the following Sunday. One little boy wrote,
"Dear God. We had a good time at church today. Wish you could have
been there."
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One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was
tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light,
when he asked, with a tremor in his voice, " Mommy, will you sleep
with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "
I can't, dear," she said, " I have to sleep with your Daddy." A long
silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice,
"The big sissy."
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A mother took her three year old daughter to church for the first
time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down
the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little
one started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy birthday to you, happy
birthday to you."
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Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in
Sunday School. "Well, Mom, our teacher told how God sent Moses behind
enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.
When he got the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge,
and all the people walked across safely. He used his walkie-talkie
to radio headquarters to call in an airstrike. They sent in bombers
to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved. " Now
Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never
believe it."
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A child came back from Sunday School, and told his mother that he had
learned a new song about a crosseyed bear named Gladly. It took his
mother awhile before she realized that the hymn was really "Gladly
the Cross I'd Bear".
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Finding one of ther students making faces at others on the playground,
Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the
Sunday School teacher said, " Bobby, when I was a child, I was told
that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like
that". Bobby looked at her face and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you
can't say you weren't warned."
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A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his
cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the
boy responded. Amazed, the cousin asked how he knew that. " Easy,"
said the little boy. "All you have to do is add it up, like the
Preacher said, "4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
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"I can only please one person a day. This may not be your day.
Tomorrow doesn't look real good either."
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