From: "Lynn Bueche" <lynnbueche(a)starfishnet.com>
To: "aaGL" <gratz2(a)juno.com>
Subject: Fw: For smart women
Date: Wed, 21 Sep 2005 22:13:04 -0400
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet
coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk
carton.
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding
the items a woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I
noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you
always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my
husband
refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil
thing I could do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can
take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh! , rip the hair out by
the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his
wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and
wives know each other's likes and dis! likes." He addressed the man, "Can
you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's
arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to
concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and
pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep,"
the
wife replied, "in-laws."
W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be
because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to
his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and
so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to
exlain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me
stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were hav! ing an argument about who should brew the
coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The
husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do
it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife
replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the
man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show
me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed
him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home! and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business
flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he
wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he
knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover
it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go
and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper
by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man
before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE
IT !
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