Processing the letters from Ed Hills, Jr.; Inez HOYT Boller, Elizabeth
CAMPBELL Hughey; and Phebe CAMPBELL Hoyt has stirred up lots of
memories. It inspired me to call one of Phebe's great grandsons, my 1st
cousin, David Walker, and arranged to visit him this weekend. I meant
to visit him (and Betty WRIGHT Griffin) all last year, but just didn't
get to it. I knew him pretty well when I was growing up, and named a
son after him. I've met his children and grandchildren, but have had
only sporadic contact during the last 30 years.
In the past, I've urged appreciation of the older members of our "clan"
as living repositories of our family's history. And suggested not
putting off asking some of the questions that someday -- when it's too
late -- you may kick yourself for not having asked in time. That's all
well and good as far as it goes, but one sided. It has an element of
treating them as "things" to be used. But they also deserve to be
appreciated as the unique individuals they are.
We have some wonderful people in the family. I've been fortunate to
have met, corresponded, or talked on the phone with a large number of
our relatives -- those currently living, and those no longer with us.
Naturally I've liked and enjoyed some more than others. But never have
I been sorry I met any of the cousins or regretted the time I spent with
them. It's an amazing bunch -- steadily becoming more and more
diverse. There is a tiny percentage that just want to be left alone or
are rude, but you discover their feelings right away, so little time is
"wasted" if you contact them.
You never know how much time you or others in the family have left --
decades or minutes.
As part of taking time to "smell the roses", call or visit some of our
relatives -- especially some of the older ones. We all have our virtues
and faults. But there are lots of benefits to getting reacquainted with
folks you haven't seen, and meeting others for the first time. The
benefits may vary for each of us. But like any "roots" related
activity, you may find that in knowing some of the relatives better, you
end up knowing yourself better. And of course, you're likely to
conclude they are worth knowing just for themselves, for who they are.
So, reach out and call, write or visit someone. Chances are you'll be
glad you did.